The last four years having been extremely trying for my children and I . We’ve been chastised, bullied, homeless, moved from home to home, lived with this person and that person, school to school, car repossessed, evicted, taken to court for 12.5 grand because of an eviction, our car was stolen and trashed and all of our items inside taken, some of which held extreme sentimental value to my children and myself. I lost a baby, a dog, a Guinea pig, a couple of deaths in our extended family, drove around with a newborn and 3 children for hours in a car not feeling like we belonged anywhere.
I was never given the tools to survive on my own. I was lost. That’s on myself, but also how I was raised. My earliest memories are my siblings torturing me, my brothers mostly. This was not normal
Sibling banter. They called me names and meant it, held me down, had me eat dog food, we had different last names and they would tell me I was adopted and not part of the family, called me mustache Mary. I clearly remember being about 7 years old asking my mom in tears why she allowed them and also my father to torture me.
It was a house filled with trauma. My dad was a raging alcoholic, my mom ran away to Arkansas when I was 12, she wrote letters telling everyone it was my fault. She hated my dad, maybe with good reason - but she left me behind , came home from school and waited on her to pick me up at my sisters and she didn’t come. And that was my first time wanting to kill myself. I grabbed a knife and had no idea what to do with it but I knew I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I was never comforted , everyone around me was just trying to find her . My dad called
The police and the tracked her down and they all drove to Arkansa to meet her off a bus stop and drove her back. She dyed her hair a different color, I remember her walking through the side door, look of defeat on her face and she surely didn’t look like my mom. And thus my abandonment issues were born along with severe anxiety. I was already an anxious kid from the trauma that was already occurring in the home, but this sent me into a spiral that I’ve yet to ever come out of.
My dad would tell me she hated me and him, she would tell me he hated me, she told me constantly ..they weren’t supposed to have a child together and they were miserable. I sat in my room longing for some type of relationship with just anyone and was extremely lonely. That’s when I learned to disassociate and create my own world of people who loved me.
Around 18 -19 I met my first husband at work, and endured his mental and psychical abuse for years. I did not know any better and boy did it take a toll on my brain and depression issues.
My second husband, well that’s a story I’m not ready to tell although most of you have already formed your opinion and that’s all it is, an opinion not based on facts.
Which leads me to present day, my name is on this house. I was tired of living place to place to place with the kids. They don’t deserve that. I wanted stability. I should have known the house of horrors would not bring them that. It didn’t to me as a child? When we first got here I had just lost a baby, actually had surgery at 10 weeks alone during a pandemic, and i felt an extreme loss even though it was probably “for the best” My mom told her friends that I had and abortion and they posted it on Facebook. I was horrified. This was the start of it all.
We did not find solace, peace, or comfort. She gave up her bedroom a couple of months but tortured my son over and the kids moved in the room with Alex and I . We didn’t leave the room, hardly ever. Just to eat. She was not welcoming and she started to emotionally abuse my son. She would tell him he’s the reason things are ruined, she would grab stuff out of his hands, call him names, wouldn’t let Alex and him play together, would yell at him for anything he did . He’s a boy and had so much energy. He was cooped up in the room for 7/8 hours a day and would get restless in the evenings. Plus he lost his father , has been homeless, had to stop sports, didn’t have any toys at all here. We couldn’t watch “her” tv. It was a living nightmare and it brought back a lot of terrible memories from
When I was a child and the same exact thing happened and it sent me off into a world with no logical thinking skills and terrible depression . I was scared to death for my son. I vehemently stuck up for him, defended him, told her to please stop, asked nicely, asked meanly , yelled screamed and not my proudest moment but I would lose it on her and tell her to stop. My sister knows this even though she’s suddenly mum on it because she treated her son this way too and she stopped coming over because of it. She won’t admit that now because she’s gaslighting me and enjoying her sunshine moment with her mom that’s she’s always dreamed of having and never had. I get it, enjoy it , even at my expense.
But remember you’ve encouraged her to hurt my little ones, especially Alex . Her heart is broken.
I fell into such a depression. I was diagnosed with fibroids, which have caused my stomach to swell up like a balloon and bleed extremely heavy, I’m on a pill that has caused me to gain extreme weight . I have interstitial cystitis, endometriosis, ovarian cysts. I’m in pain 70 percent of the time. This isn’t a pity party but it’s part of my story.
I do what I can. I decided to start my own business and I never thought I’d get one sale and through hard work snd determination I’ve made 100s of sales. My business grew and I had nowhere to put my product but in the hall. I wanted to finish the basement when I had my savings still and my mom refused. I can include the text messages.
Anything that the kids and I tried to do was met with resistance. I wanted them to have chores to help around the house, and she told me that’s child abuse and made big post about it, when we’d do the dishes she’d take them out and redo them. I bought a mop to mop her floor and she hit me snd I have pictures of the marks and bruises , she said no one was mopping her floor! Her dog was vomiting all over the floor and I didn’t want the baby crawling all over it . If we cleaned something she’d get furious because we “did it wrong” but then she tells people we don’t clean or help. It was maddening. She wouldn’t let the kids cook or help me in any way. I thoroughly believe she enjoys watching me struggle.
I was going to have someone come play with Alex when my work was super busy and she told me no, no one was allowed in her house. She’d hide the remote so we couldn’t watch tv when she left. Brandon took the batteries from her remote one day and yes it was wrong but she told him
She was never buying him anything ever again and she started taking the remote with her and taking the batteries out so he couldn’t watch tv when she’d leave.
she would say I didnt help around the house so we decided to cut the grass for her one day. Disaster. We tried, The grass was so high the rider wouldn’t work, the push mower kept stalling. I sat on the porch crying my eyes out , but I finished it, it wasn’t pretty but I tried and it was done. I worked through my extreme pain, legs swelled up like balloons. She came home and freaked out. Said it looked like shit and and saw me crying on the ring like an idiot and she thought it was funny. She went out and redid the yard. That was probably my last straw, the kids even worked hard raking it and trying to help. All the memories of mental abuse and feeling like a failure came to head and I threw my corn on the cob at her.
So off she goes telling everyone I threw corn at her. But she doesn’t say why. She doesn’t tell them what she did and what she said. Instead of thanking me for trying she told me it looked like shit and I went back to my 8 year old self. I’m not proud of it. I was wrong and should not have reacted like that.
She likes to tell people she can’t have people over because of us , and we tried to keep it as clean as possible but again, Im an only parent raising four kids in a small home trying to work and run my business.
Then it was maddening when we did clean and she would undo it all and do it herself. Or when I bought the kids organization for their school supplies she said i was trying to run the house. That wasn’t true , I was trying to make the kids feel better about their life and give them a school spot.
she gossips about my kids constantly , and they are amazing kids. They are actually doing well in school, they are funny, they are smart, they are beautiful, they have a lot to offer to this world and she took their little hurting souls and made them feel so much more awful. They tried, we tried.
She has a cat that she has captured in the basement, and it’s turned feral and it poops and pees all over the place. Her house smells terrible and she never changes it’s litter box. We have our cats and I got a good litter box for it and Alianna changes it constantly because me and the others have severe allergies to it. I would buy my mom litter and ask her to change it but she refused. I firmly believe she wanted it like this so she can tell people we caused the house to smell. The cat is still in the basement as she refused to take it with her.
She watched me struggle daily and I’m sure she’s got great enjoyment as she watched me barely be able to stand while cleaning and taking care of the kids and working with a toddler crawling all over me. She didn’t lift a finger to help me. As a matter of fact my mom has never taken any of my kids ever. They’ve never been in her car and they maybe had 2 sleepovers when we didn’t live here.
She decided she couldn’t live with us anymore , we played music and we laughed, and Brandon is too much. She couldn’t “live like us” . We did our best , we still do our best.
she got s trailer and recently someone told me about it so I asked her if she’s moving to please let me know so I could figure out some way to get our stuff. My kids have been through a federal agent raid where they took so much stuff and they traumatized my kids, they all suffer severe ptsd and I wanted to make sure they had stuff replaced immediately. She did not do that. She told me she wasn’t taking anything because it was a trailer and that she’d do it when she’s good and ready. She told me she was coming back when I couldnt pay the bills and had we had to leave.
Only to find out the morning she came was taking everything. Came home to nothing. She took a kitchen table, tv, tv stand , cable, all lamps, end stands , both lawn mowers and my dads four wheeler. She doesn’t have a lawn and she knows we have this big one and won’t be able to cut it . She loves knowing that I’m going to struggle and fail.
I know she was encouraged to do this by my brother and sister. My same brother and sister who hated my mom and suddenly see an opportunity. My brother went 20 years without visiting her and only came around when my dad died, who was not his dad, to take his money. I was there for my sister for the times she cried and cried over my mom and had to seek therapy and her therapist told her to go no contact. I was there for my sister through all of her life events, remained loyal and stuck by her. I was a fool. This family is so toxic. It hurt immensely my sister could do this after I stood up for her to my mom countless times, or even when she wouldn’t allow my sisters husband in the house and wouldn’t allow Eddie’s wife in the house and trash talked them to no end. My mom thrives on gossip and it’s so sad. It’s heartbreaking. She feels no remorse for the things she’s done.
Eddie, Kim ..you know what she’s done to you. You know in your heart , and I’m not sure how you can sleep at night knowing what she’s now done to my kids. Not that you ever cared about them they don’t even know you. But you know. You know what she put you through and Kimberly you know I was there for you when you were kicked out, I stayed with you when you had no furniture and kept you company, you know I helped you with the kids all the time and formed decent normal loving relationships with them. You know I gave you a surprise
50th birthday party and you know I’d do things like buy your favorite childhood candy NICOS at nickmans. Most of all you know what mom has done is wrong and what she did to you and Brady was wrong. You know. How she hated that you worked and went on vacations and made fun of your son, and treated him so badly you stopped visiting for years and years. I stood by you through that. And now you’re cheering her on for doing the same to my precious son and what she’s done to the girls . You took a knife and stabbed me in the back.
She has called my friends and neighbors and whomever will listen to her to spin her narrative, which just isn’t a true narrative. Sure I’ve struggled, struggle with money, keeping things together, things get messy. Im alone. The women in my family all rely on men to care for them. They love their money. My sisters own husband has several
Issues with the law including indecent exposure for showing his privates to people at ocean city Maryland, he recently got fired for theft and she can’t stand the money struggle. My mom wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for my dad. They’ve never walked my shoes , but they cast judgment.
It’s ok. If there is anything that me and my kids have proven is that we are survivors and we can do it. I’ve survived my whole life. The kids and I will be ok. They have enough love from to make up all of my families misgivings and narcissistic abuse. Your words and actions are enough to make someone want to take their life, so if anything maybe you can learn to be kind before you say things about others. Remember that there are four young kids that you are dealing with too and your actions affect them.
We are doing the best we can, surviving depression, ptsd, anxiety, financial hardships, lots of tears, grief, abuse ..but we will make it. We will keep surviving. It’s not perfect, surviving isn’t perfect.. This is not a sob story nor is it the end of our story.
